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What do I do if guests say they aren’t coming to my wedding?


Your wedding day is a celebration of love, but what happens when some invited guests express hesitation or reluctance to attend? It's a situation that can be challenging and upsetting, but fear not – at The Wedding Hand, we're here to guide you through this delicate scenario.


Tip 1: Understand why they can’t attend.

Before taking any action, it's crucial to understand the reasons behind your guests' reluctance. Some common reasons include scheduling conflicts, financial constraints, or personal reasons. Knowing the root cause can help you approach the situation with empathy.


Tip 2: Communication is key.

Open a Line of Communication:

Begin by gently reaching out to the guests who have expressed hesitation. A heartfelt message or a friendly call can provide insights into their concerns.

Ask for Honest Feedback:

Encourage open communication by asking if there's anything specific that's causing hesitation. Understanding their concerns allows you to address them or offer reassurance.

Express Understanding:

Make it clear that you understand and respect their decision, emphasising that you want your wedding to be a joyous occasion for everyone and you love them – that’s why they were invited!

Tell them how you feel:

Your wedding is not just about them, it is about you. If you want them there and it really matters to you, tell them and tell them why it is so important to you.


Tip 3: Provide your wedding guests flexibility.

Consider Alternative Participation:

If attending the wedding is genuinely challenging for some guests, explore alternative ways for them to participate. This could include virtual attendance, sending well wishes, or joining for part of the day,

Flexible RSVP Options:

Provide flexibility in RSVP options, such as attending specific parts of the wedding day or participating in pre-wedding events.


Tip 4: Address financial concerns.

Offering assistance:

If financial constraints are a concern, express that their presence matters most, and offer assistance if feasible. This might include helping with travel arrangements or accommodations, but you come first here, this may not be possible in your budget, so do not feel that you have to take this option.

Gift expectations: Especially if your wedding is abroad or a distance away, make it clear you don’t expect anything other than their attendance.


Tip 5: Use others to help you.

Wedding coaching:

These instances are what wedding coaching is made for to support you with finding a solution for each of your individual instances, every scenario is different.

Use your family and friends:

Consider whether there is anyone that can support you with the conversation, someone who has some influence over the guest.


Tip 6: Let your stress out.

You are allowed to be upset if someone doesn't attend. Let your stress out in whatever way you see fit, cry on your partner, shout in your pillow or go boxing. Whatever it takes.


Tip 7: Focus on the positives.

Ultimately this is your wedding day, you should focus on the positives, focus on who is there, not who isn't there. Put yourself first to make sure you can enjoy the day!


Wedding guest who did not RSVP
Wedding guest who did not RSVP

While it's natural to desire the presence of all your loved ones on your wedding day, remember that each person has their unique circumstances. At The Wedding Hand, we believe that at the heart of everything, you and your partner come first.








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